Healing Ancestral Trauma: A Somatic and Systemic Approach Through the Body, Soul, and Family Field

You may have already done profound healing work, yet still feel challenged in relationships or uncertain about your direction in life. By working at the level of the soul, you can release what you unconsciously carry from your ancestors and open to their blessings and the flow of love. In doing so, you can reclaim a sense of belonging and step more fully into the gift of your life. This is beyond forgiveness.

I had a huge shift of perspective about love and life from my eight-month training with Efu Niyaki in Systemic Family Constellation Therapy (SFCT), integrated with Somatic Experiencing® (SE), to heal ancestral and systemic trauma. Efu is a faculty member of Somatic Experiencing® and a professor of Family Constellation System Therapy at the Hellinger Institute. SE helps to repair and resource what was missed in our development as well as to embody shifts.

I learned from SFCT that the instinct to belong is deep and when we don't feel comfortable in our family of origin, it can be hard to feel we belong elsewhere. SFCT has a way of separating your mother or father, for example, from the person who created pain in your life so that you can have parents, and liberate this pain.

According to SFCT, our success in life or with personal and family relationships are influenced, at least in part, by our ancestors. The father energy is understood to give us strength and movement toward life—our work, direction, and aspirations—while the mother energy gives us life and love. When we can take in love inherent in mothers, we are better able to receive from others. These ideas are not regarded as rules but a process of souls.

My Initial Resistance (and What Changed)

At first, I struggled with SFCT ideas. I remember arguing with Efu:

“What do you mean I have to reverence my mother and father when I didn’t get so much of what I needed from them?”

Then something shifted as I watched live demonstrations where group members stood in as family representatives. Though they knew nothing about the family, they moved, spoke, and reacted with uncanny accuracy. I witnessed disorganized energies—deep pain from childhood needs unmet by distressed parents—begin to settle as support from grandparents flowed to the parents, restoring love and bringing peace to the client.

There were concepts I had already been familiar with—like soul contracts—but they became more real for me as I witnessed over 30 live demonstrations. I watched people stop resisting what was, saw how hearts softened and broke open to love. I saw how love begins with being open to receive the mother's love, no matter how much we thought it was lacking.

I learned to do this work using drawings and objects to represent family members, which allows me to do personal sessions online with clients.

What Is Systemic Family Constellation Therapy?

Systemic Family Constellation Therapy (SFCT) is a phenomenological approach to healing. Rather than viewing symptoms in isolation, it understands suffering through the lens of the family system.

It believes that our struggles—anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, loneliness, addiction, even physical illness—may not originate with us personally. Instead, they can arise from unconscious loyalties to our family system. We may carry burdens that belong to previous generations as a way of maintaining belonging and love.

SFCT was developed by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist and former Catholic missionary who spent sixteen years living among the Zulu people in South Africa. Through this experience, he observed that families are governed by deep systemic laws—and when these are violated, suffering often follows.

The power of this work lies in being deeply connected to the body and emotions: This is why integrating Somatic Experiencing® is so essential. Family Constellations allow us to witness what are often called the “movements of the soul”—the deeper, often unseen dynamics that shape our lives across generations.

The Orders of Love

For love to flow freely in a family system, we must align with what are called the Three Orders of Love—the foundational principles of SFCT. With folks who have attachment and developmental trauma, allowing the love to flow can be challenging. This is why I personally like to help clients work through and repair some early issues before offering the soul level work of SFCT.

First Order of Love: Precedence

Reverencing those who came before us

This order recognizes that parents and ancestors come before us in the system. Reverence is not about approving of behavior. It is not about excusing harm. And it is not about saying your parents were good parents.

We are working beyond personal history— but on a soul level. Our well-being is deeply connected to our capacity to take in our mother, father, and ancestors just as they are. 

Accepting our parents is an agreement to life itself—with its limitations and its opportunities. It is a bow to the mystery of existence. When we reverence, something softens. Something settles. And often, something that has been carried for generations finally comes to rest.

Second Order of Love: Receiving

Taking in life, love, and strength

Can we receive life just the way it was given? As Efu explains, when we receive our mother, our father, and our ancestors, we become like a fountain that does not run dry—because we received first. From that place, we can give freely to our partner, our children, our clients, and the world.  This can be challenging—especially for those who experienced neglect, abuse, or abandonment. And yet, as Efu says:

“Your mother gave you life. She gave you nutrition. Life itself is already enough.”

What helped this land for me was when Efu shared the story about conception:

When the timing is right, the egg receives the masculine energy—the one sperm out of millions—carrying half of your DNA. That sperm holds strength and direction, moving with purpose toward the egg. The egg opens, receives, and gently closes around it. In that moment, there is an explosion of life—like a small Big Bang—where love and life are born together to create you. Even if your father is not present after conception, you still carry within you his strength, direction, and movement toward life.

When we remain stuck in judgment, rejection, or demand—feeling larger than our parents—we become incapable of receiving. Over time, this can turn into bitterness, neediness, or a sense that life itself is withholding. Receiving does not mean agreeing with what happened. It means saying yes to life.

Third Order of Love: The Right to Belong

Everyone has an equal right to belong in the family system. Healing requires that no one is excluded.

This includes:

• All children—living, miscarried, aborted, stillborn, or given up for adoption

• Deceased or forgotten siblings of parents

• Former partners of parents

• Former spouses of our partners and their children

• Family members who died by suicide or committed crimes

When someone is excluded, the system does not forget. Instead, the burden can show up in later generations—through symptoms, patterns, or life struggles—until belonging is restored.

A Note About SFCT Session With Me

If, after reading about SFCT above, you feel drawn to have a session with me, it’s important to know that this work is different from our attachment and developmental trauma work. In SFCT, we work with the soul and nervous system, following the family system through the DNA line. During a session, doubts or protests may arise. I’ll invite you to gently set aside the thinking mind—not because it’s wrong, but because we're working on the soul level, beyond right or wrong. We begin by regulating so you feel present and settled as an adult. Emotions, stories, and memories may arise, but we mostly track the soul movement but we do give space for incomplete grieve that we carry in our energy field that hinder our evolution. We only do one session in 40 days.

Clients have reported:

• Sense of belonging, less lonely.

• Being able to receive love from mother deeply (neglect history)

• Feeling lighter not have to take care of parents

• Easier dynamics with father and sister

• Peace and gratitude for ex-husbands

  
  

Why This Work Matters

Systemic Family Constellation Therapy is not about blame. It’s not about reliving trauma. And it’s not about fixing anyone or dismissing our early sufferings. It's about creating space in our hearts. As Efu said, it's about separating your father, for example, from this person who created pain in life so that you can have a father, and liberate this pain. It’s about restoring order so that love can flow. When we honor where we come from, receive what was given, and allow everyone their rightful place, something profound happens: we reclaim our strength, clarity, and capacity for life. And from there, we can finally move forward—lighter, freer, and more alive.

With gratitude to Efu for teaching me this profound soul work.

Brianna Lia Ho, MBA, BBA-PSYC, is a NARM Master, Neuro-Affective Touch, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. She's also in an MA Integrative Psychology program. She's trained in other somatic modalities as well as in spiritual counseling with One-Spirit Interfaith in NYC. She works with clients internationally via Zoom. www.Essence-Alive.com

Disclaimer: Please note that I am not a psychotherapist or mental health counselor. The info above is not a substitute for licensed medical, psychological or psychiatric help.